I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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