Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize