i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize