Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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