So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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