come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I supernannyed him into submission
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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