thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she smelled like a LAN party
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
