CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The power of my boobs compel you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize