I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my being single is dangerous.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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