What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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