Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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