its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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