i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize