i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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