Yo dont text me then not text me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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