Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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