where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
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I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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