Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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