Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize