I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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