just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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