There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize