Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize