I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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