Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize