Cold hands, warm shart.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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