I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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