Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize