No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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