Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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