omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize