She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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