I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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