I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize