her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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