he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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