they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize