Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize