how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize