is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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