Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize