Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize