Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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