Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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