So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize