I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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