So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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