So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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