I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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