Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize